


All The Devils

by jaeren



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And I wanted to write a story where Ymir and Historia get a happy ending together, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, I just love writing with the AOT characters, Plus one where the reader grows with the characters, Reader-Insert, so here you go lol
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 10:08:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28349649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeren/pseuds/jaeren
Summary: Growing up in Marley, your mother had told you one thing and one thing only about Paradis: hell is empty and all the devils are there. You became an Eldian warrior, holding that phrase close to your heart to get you through cruel and grueling treatment — until one minor mistake ended with your commanding officer injecting you with titan serum. The heat of the sun was your last memory, until you awoke under the cool light of the moon years later: human, again. And this time, you were determined not to waste it.(Or, you grow up alongside the scouts we know and love, with a titan twist.) (Rating may change from T to M in the future.)
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Reader, Eren Yeager/Reader, Jean Kirstein/Reader, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Ymir
Comments: 98
Kudos: 425





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Hi I’m back with another fic because my brain does not stop when it comes to fic ideas. I really wanted to write the trope where the main character grows up with the scouts, but with a twist. 
> 
> The main character will be called Y/N L/N so if you have a text editor, those are the terms to replace. Previously I was using Reader [LN] so if you see that anywhere still, let me know so I can quickly fix it. :)
> 
> Feel free to check out my other reader insert AOT fic "To Love and To Hate" (enemies to lovers 1001 nights based AU).

****

**/Chapter One\**

The last thing you remembered was the sun. Hot on your face like hellfire, beads of sweat slipping down your skin, strands of hair whipping around your face as you fell — and then nothing. Nothing except, perhaps, a hunger for something that had been taken from you.

And now — almost as if waking up after a long nightmare — the moon. The cool light of it alight in the sky, stars glimmering. The gentle night breeze kissing your naked skin. The taste of a freedom you had never dared to imagine. 

“So you’re awake,” said a voice behind you. You whipped your head around to face them, heart hammering in your chest. 

You stared at the girl you had been behind you. You face flushed, realizing you were naked in front of a stranger; said stranger had on a blood-stained shirt and pants, and a frayed tan colored jacket with an interesting logo on its breast. 

You steadied yourself, and croaked out a question, voice unsteady from disuse. “Who are you?”

The girl blinked, and ran a hand through her short and shaggy strands of hair, as if she were deciding on her name in the moment. “I’m Ymir,” she said finally.

“Ymir!” you said, instantly agitated. Years of indoctrination in Liberio against your Eldian blood, years of mistreatment because of your Eldian blood, years of misery and mindless wandering as a titan due to your Eldian blood — all of that combined worked itself into your tone of voice.

The girl — _Ymir,_ you corrected — nodded. 

“I know,” she said simply. You swallowed. She took off her jacket and passed it to you. “I have other clothes for you, too.”

“I … where are we?” you said as you shrugged on the jacket and wrapped it around your now frail body tightly. Ymir turned away from you as you tugged on the clothes, clothes which you knew had probably been scavenged from Paradis scouts’ bodies. You felt like vomiting, but it would be the best you could do for now.

“I don’t know. I found you attached to your titan body, and removed you before worse people could find you. We’re near the Walls. Near Paradis.”

“Paradis,” you repeated, tasting the word on your mouth. And then you realized what Ymir had said fully. “My titan body?” You felt like a stupid doll, unable to comprehend just how you landed here.

“I’m not sure … what kind of titan you are. Your body was encased in something hard, with cables connecting you to the titan.”

“The war hammer titan,” you whispered. But it was the only titan that the Tybur family controlled ... 

And then you realized what you had done as a mindless titan. You had eaten the owner of the war hammer titan, a member of the Tybur family. You began to cackle uncontrollably — you had expected to feel some sort of disgust, some sort of guilt. But you couldn’t. All you felt was that justice had been served. That after the severe treatment you had undergone, you had been able to take something from Marley that they could never get back long as you escaped from their clutches. 

Once your fit of laughter was diminishing you realized that meant Ymir had to be a titan, too. Paradis members stayed within their walls, and Marley's citizens wouldn’t be out here. Even if there might’ve been a small group of shifters scouting outside of the wall, Ymir couldn’t be one of them judging by the state of her foreign clothes. She had probably eaten one of the shifters, too.

“So… you’re a titan, too?”

“I think so. I accidentally injured myself while attempting to retrieve these clothes from a tree, and I transformed.”

“Can you — can you describe your titan for me?” You needed to figure out what titan Ymir had gotten.

“I’m small and agile, and my jaw—”

“You’re the jaw titan,” you said excitedly, interrupting Ymir. You guessed you probably wouldn’t recognize the past owner of the jaw titan even if Ymir could remember, since your timeline was probably much older than the present.

Ymir turned to you curiously. “How do you know all of this? I … before they turned me into a titan, I was underground.” Ymir began explaining how she found herself here, with you. You listened attentively — it was clear that she would technically be older than you based on the events she was describing. Cults of Ymir had been exterminated before you were born.

“When I opened my eyes, what I saw was freedom spread out before me,” she said, and you took that chance to stare up at the beautiful sky again. The stars twinkled, and you felt yourself thanking whatever fate had allowed for you to be here now, in this way. 

When Ymir finished her story, you found your heart hurting for this girl who had been raised like a deity only to be treated like a demon, a devil, in the end. You lifted your hand, and squeezed her shoulder. You two had both been discarded, and now you were in the same situation, together. Ymir looked shocked, but she nodded in appreciation for your silent understanding of her struggles.

“Ymir. If we were both able to have gotten the power of titan shifting, that means Marley soldiers could surround us at any opportunity. We have to get inside Paradis. Do you think you could transform and take us somewhere inside the walls where there are not many people?”

Ymir nodded, but looked apprehensive. “I still don’t know your name. Or anything about you.”

“I’m sorry. I got too excited. I’m Y/N L/N. I … grew up in Liberio. My family was poor, poorer than the average Eldian family. And so I thought the only escape was becoming an Eldian warrior and inheriting a titan power. And I was set to accept the female titan, another one of the nine.” You clenched your jaw as more of your memories came to the front of your mind.

“So what happened? For it to all go so wrong for you?”

You laughed bitterly. “I fell for the wrong person. It was a schoolgirl crush, on my commanding officer’s son. All because he had been the only Marleyian to show a shred of kindness towards me — he would give me extra food to take back to my family. And my commanding officer found out about ... our interactions, no matter how pure they'd been. He didn’t like it at all.”

Ymir’s eyes narrowed angrily. “So he had you transformed and thrown out?”

You closed your eyes, knowing that if you had them opened tears would stream out like a flood. “He had me watch my father eat my mother. And then it was my turn.”

“Oh, hell. I’m so—”

“Don’t be sorry. It happened. And now I know the truth. Did you know, my mother would tell me, _hell is empty and all the devils are there,_ talking about Paradis? I believed her, then. But it was a lie she had been forced to believe, forced to make me believe. The devils were never inside Paradis — they were in Marley all along.” You felt anger flow through every vein in your body, a rush of fuel that made you want to kill each and every soldier who had ever hurt you. You, a ‘good for nothing’ Eldian soldier. You, who had been called a bitch more than you had been called your own name. You, who had done nothing wrong. And now, you: free and near Paradis, the powers of a god running through your blood. 

Ymir stood up, brushed sand off her pants. 

“You’re right. But it doesn’t matter now. We’ve been given a second chance. Y/N — we have to start anew in Paradis. Inside the walls, we can finally be free people, living for ourselves. No more lies.” Ymir extended a hand to you.

You nodded, and took her hand. “No more lies.”

(And so began your second life, where you would soon be surrounded by all the devils you had been taught to hate your entire first life. Devils who you would come to love, devils who you would grow up with, and devils you would fight for till the end of time. Hell may be empty, but you are carving out your own slice of heaven.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A brief chapter to set the scene, hope you enjoyed! :D (Also, "hell is empty and all the devils are here" is a Shakespeare quote that I thought was perfect for this fic)
> 
> Please comment your thoughts so I know if there is interest in this fic — comments really truly make my day <3 And also feel free to comment on requests for what you’d like to see; I read and take into account every comment!
> 
> To quickly explain in case you are still confused, basically in this universe, the Tybur family sent their shifter along with Annie, Reiner, Bertolt, and Marcel. At some point, Ymir’s mindless titan ate Marcel, and then later, your mindless titan ate the Tybur shifter. Annie, Reiner, Bertolt ran and left you alone for the same reason they ran and left Ymir alone — fear (as after all, they were still children at that point). Ymir found your body attached to the titan, and rescued you before they’d summoned the courage to find you, and now together you will enter Paradis and the trainee corps together. Your backstory is that you had been an Eldian warrior, which is how you know so much, but your character won’t recognize Annie, Reiner, or Bertolt because your timelines are different up until the present. You and Ymir are both technically around 12-13, which would make you 15 years when you first join the trainee corps (since canonically, Ymir spent two years wandering before joining the military); I'll be aging up all the characters to be 15 then, too. Every other canon event is going to go as normal besides these adjustments (i.e. the colossal titan destroying the wall to set off the plots in canon, etc.) up until we pick up with the next chapter of this fic. Next few chapters will involve the 104th training corps arc! :) 


	2. To New Journeys

****

**/Chapter Two\**

**Year 847**

“Ymir, you can’t be serious,” you said, munching on some bread you had stolen from a vendor earlier. “You want us to join the military?” 

Ymir slowly buttoned her shirt, having taken off the grey sweatshirt she always sported in exchange for the more formal white button down she’d acquired as a result of applying to join the training corps. The entire outfit overall was an eerie reminder of what had transpired two years before, what had led to your and Ymir’s new life inside of the walls.

“I never said it would have to be _us_ ,” she simply replied, scowl on her face from struggling with a button. You felt the sting of her words immediately. You two had been thick as thieves ever since your first meeting, having wagered and stolen and manipulated your paths to survival while living near Wall Sina. You thought of her as the sister you’d never had, and you knew she felt the same; she could have easily discarded you long ago.

Ymir, having finally succeeded with her battle over the buttons, finally looked up to see the look on your face. You didn’t bother hiding your dejection, because Ymir would figure it out whether or not you tried.

“C’mon, Y/N, you know that’s not what I meant. I just mean, it’s up to you.” Ymir walked over to you and patted your head. 

“Shove off, Ymir! You know we’re the same age,” you grumbled. Despite that, Ymir treated you as the “younger” one, always giving you the bigger piece, always ruffling your hair.

“But think about it,” she continued, ignoring your outburst. She walked over to the table where she had all the clothes, and began stringing the belt through her pants. “What else can we do in this world? We never had schooling. We don’t have relatives. We won’t be young and agile forever. This is … our only option.”

“At least tell me why you’re doing this so rashly!” Ymir wouldn’t tell you what had suddenly led to her joining the military; she would get embarrassed each time. But now, you needed to know.

“I — I overheard a conversation, okay! It was about … this girl,” Ymir finally said. She roughly yanked the belt tighter against her waist. “It reminded me of myself. Of being forced to be someone I wasn’t.”

You had planned on responding sarcastically — this was about a stranger, of all things, you had thought — but as Ymir finished her line of thought, you knew that this was a matter in which Ymir would need to be involved in herself, by herself.

“Alright, Ymir. At least tell me … you grabbed me a set of clothes, too,” you finally said, after a period of some time. Ymir had already finished zipping up her boots by then.

Ymir looked up and grinned at you, and handed you a nondescript brown bag from the foot of the table in which her clothes had been laid. “Signed you up exactly when I did, Y/N.” 

You balled up your old shirt and threw it at her.

“Save your fighting spirit for the battlefield, Y/N,” Ymir said, dodging and laughing. She stuck out her tongue at you, and you had a smile on your face as you changed quickly into the training corps uniform. It felt nice to wear clean clothes with the thought of a new future before you. You wondered how different the Paradis training corps would be compared to your previous experiences as an Eldian warrior. Surely, it could not be worse. Your expression immediately changed into that of a grim one, thinking of your past, however long ago it had been.

“You alright there?” Ymir called out. She had been looking over your living quarters — some abandoned house near the edge of the forest — for ‘precious’ items to take with before leaving for the corps. She pocketed some of the jewelry you guys had stolen and had been saving for tougher times, to exchange for coins and lodging during the winter months, though now you would no longer need to prepare for yourselves like that with the military. 

“Yeah. I’m good. You should take the red necklace with you for sure. Maybe you can give it to that girl of yours,” you said cheekily, to change the mood back a jovial one.

“So very funny of you,” Ymir said sarcastically. She tossed something at you, and your quick reflexes — learned from living a life of a thievery — grabbed it instantly. 

It was a thin glitter circlet of gold. You undid the clasp and fit it around your neck.

“Thank you, Ymir,” you said. You had never owned something for yourself, truly, before. 

“I’ve got one, too,” she replied. “I knew we’d both be leaving soon, so I exchanged some of our things for it. Something for us to own forever.” 

You smiled to yourself. Ymir could be so sweet when she wanted to be. You were glad you two would be together for your next journey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this super short chapter; I write chapters based on feeling mostly and felt I should end it here. But since it's so short, the next chapter will be along much much more quickly! I look forward to your comments. :) (I'm writing this as I read the manga, so that I can follow events as well as I can, so writing this chapter has also given me some buffer time, too, to get to the training corps arc lol)


	3. New Friends & New Promises

****

**/Chapter Three\**

“We now begin the enlistment ceremony for the 104th Trainee Corps,” yelled a rough voice. “I am Keith Shadis, and I had the misfortune to be assigned to train you bastards.”

You resisted rolling your eyes; no matter how tough this guy tried to be, he could never rival the racist trainers in Marley. This treatment was like being royalty compared to how they had treated you. You didn’t even want to think back to all they had done to you and the other Eldian warriors, even if you were mere children. You stood straighter in an attempt to reduce your thoughts down to your posture rather than lingering on past memories. After all, this was your second life now.

Shadis’ eyes began roving over all the trainees, lingering on each face as he passed. He suddenly stopped near Ymir, who was two rows before you, and you wondered how he’d proceed.

“Hey! You, there!” Shadis said to a blond boy, who was standing next to Ymir. “Who the hell are you?!”

The boy closed his eyes and brought his fist up to his chest in salute. “Armin Arlelt, sir! From the Shiganshina district!” You were impressed by how the rather small boy kept his posture ramrod straight as he responded to Shadis’ interrogation, even if you could see his blond locks shaking in fear from being overwhelmed.

“A couple years ago, it was hell on earth. I assume you people were there to see it. It shows on your faces,” Shadis remarked, voice booming in the courtyard. He continued targeting trainees, one by one, seemingly at random.

While you did not appreciate standing in the blistering heat with Shadis’ yells filling your eardrums, you found yourself liking learning more about your classmates. The so-called devils you had been taught to believe, devils with dreams and wants and lives you had never considered. There was Jean Kirschtein from Trost who wanted to live in the inner district as a military police; Marco Bodt from Jinae Town who wanted to serve the king; Conny Springer from Ragako who couldn’t get his salute right; and funniest of all, Sasha Braus, who offered the commander a measly piece of potato with a proud smile on her face. All these people … you found yourself looking forward to the next three years. You’d only ever had Ymir as a friend, and your days as an Eldian warrior were spent competitively fighting in an attempt to be a chosen warrior, so no friends there either.

Right now, you were standing out on the porch with some other trainees, watching Sasha run for punishment. 

“It’s been like five hours straight,” remarked a boy with messy brown hair standing next to you. 

You found yourself saying “wow” out loud as you thought of Sasha’s commitment, just as the boy himself continued with the same word.

“Ah, sorry!” you said awkwardly, unsure how to proceed. 

“That’s fine,” he said, shrugging as he continued to watch Sasha.

Marco, one of the people on the porch with you all, said, “Where are you guys from? Never got to hear, since Shadis was targeting randomly.” 

You spoke first. “I’m Y/N L/N, from Yarckel.” You and Ymir wandered through all the districts near Wall Sina, so you had both chosen Stohess as your “origin” location, since that was where the two of you had spent the most time.

“Oh, that’s where Ymir’s also from. Do you know her?” Marco said.

You held back a smile; if only they knew. “Yes, we were childhood friends.”

The brunette boy now spoke up, patting Armin’s shoulder. “I’m Eren Jaeger, from Shingasina, like him. Lived there till I was 12, before moving to the landfill.”

Suddenly, Connie sprung up. “That means — you were there when it happened! Did you see the Colossal Titan?” 

Eren got a faraway look in his eyes as he glanced away from you all towards the skyline, as if he was watching something replay in his memories. “Yeah.” He walked away from you guys, Armin following after him.

You glared at Connie. “Seriously, Connie? You had to bring it up?” Connie appeared regretful, so you patted his shoulder apologetically for your chiding. Connie and Marco began talking about something, but you didn’t catch it. You were lost in your thoughts.

You felt bad for Eren — it was clearly a traumatic event for him, and who would be surprised by that? The Colossal Titan … you wondered which Eldian warrior had it now. You wondered if the warrior was within the walls now, or if they had gone back to Marley after devastating an entire group of people. You wanted to feel hate brewing your gut for whoever could cause that much pain, remembering the sorrowful look in Eren’s eyes, but instead you felt a pang in your heart, thinking of how in another life, that could’ve been you. The Colossal Titan might’ve dealt the death-bringing blow to the walls — but it had been someone else commanding him. It was an endless cycle of hate, oppression, and death, and it had found its way back to you. 

You shuddered, suddenly realizing that you — and Ymir — were now closer to what you had been running away from. Pretending to be cold, you walked inside, too. You needed to find Ymir to talk to her about this.

{~}

You found Ymir standing above the potato girl — Sasha — and a blonde girl. Sasha was munching hungrily on a piece of bread, and the blonde girl was crouched to the ground, pail of water in her hand. 

You approached, just as Ymir said “Hey there! What do you think you’re doing?” You wondered if you should step back for a moment, but Sasha and the blonde had already seen you. You stood next to Ymir as the blonde responded.

“Um, well… she’s done nothing but run for a while—”

“Not her. You.” _What was Ymir doing,_ you wondered. You decided to let this play out as a silent observer, especially since it felt as if there was nothing you could say. “I saw you hide that loaf during dinner and it pissed me off. You think you’re doing the right thing, huh?”

 _Ouch, harsh._ Instead of saying anything, you instead knelt down to Sasha, patting her awake, seeing as the girl was about to faint from exhaustion now that she’d accomplished her goal of scarfing down the bread and water. You were curious to hear the girl’s response, yourself.

“I … I chose to do this because I wanted to be seen as somebody you can count upon.” You blinked in surprise as you strung one of Sasha’s arms around your shoulder, making to lift her up. The statement was so genuine yet so unsure, as if the girl herself was still figuring it out. 

“Well, anyway, let’s get potato girl to bed,” Ymir continued. “Y/N looks like she needs help, doesn’t she?” You rolled your eyes, but let Ymir assist you. 

“Sorry about Ymir,” you said, finally speaking to the blonde girl. “Don’t let her scare you.”

“No, I’m not scared,” she replied, picking up the pail of water as you and Ymir guided Sasha. “Just curious — why would _you_ do the right thing?” You wondered if the question was solely for Ymir, or for you both.

Ymir responded regardless. “If I do her a favor, she’ll owe me.” You snorted. While that might’ve been true, you also knew Ymir wanted to help the girl out, who was doing a selfless action all by herself. 

Surprisingly, the blonde turned to you as well, as if anticipating a response. You blinked, unable to think of an answer. You had originally come out here to talk to Ymir, but found yourself wordlessly helping Sasha naturally.

“I … don’t you,” you finally said. “It just felt like the right thing to do. I’d want someone to help me out, after all.” 

The blonde nodded, appreciative of your response. “I’m Krista Lenz.” 

“I’m Y/N L/N, and this is Ymir.” As if introducing herself, too, Sasha let out a loud snore. 

The three of you laughed as you approached the girls’ lodging cabin. When the four of you got inside, you realized that the rooms had been taken on a first come first serve basis. Finally finding a room at the end of the hallway, you realized it was perfectly empty, with two long bunk beds and a large wardrobe of sorts with four drawers. There was a ragged rug in front of each bed, and a medium sized mirror atop the wardrobe, serving as the only decor. 

You and Ymir placed Sasha down on one of the bottom bunks. Immediately, you claimed the other bottom bunk; you’d hate to climb up and down every day and night.

Ymir rolled her eyes, and spoke to Krista. “I guess we’ve both got the top bunks then. I’ll take the one atop Y/N.”

“Alright, then I’ll take the bunk on top of Sasha’s,” Krista said. “I’m glad I’m rooming with you three. At least I somewhat know you.” Krita tentatively smiled, as if she were scared you wouldn’t feel the same.

You nodded, smiling back in support. “Seconded, Krista.” Ymir grunted her approval, and you resisted the urge to smack her arm and tell her to use actual words. 

“I, um, am going to go grab my stuff,” Krista said. “I’ll grab anything with your names on it, too.” You silently hoped Ymir wouldn’t accompany her, as you needed to talk to her. You narrowed your eyes at Ymir to serve as a signal, and thankfully Ymir understood. The two of you thanked Krista for grabbing your stuff, and you closed the door as she left.

“What’s up, Y/N? What’s so urgent?”

Before speaking, you checked that Sasha was sound asleep, and she was, drool dripping down her mouth as her stomach lifted and sank with every sleepy breath. “I just wanted to speak to you about the titans. I told you, right, that some Eldian children, trained as warriors, are made to inherit the titan powers?”

“Yes?”

“It just occurred to me that the Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan’s owners might still be around. And who knows what other titans are here with us. I assumed that after the attack, they left, as if to weaken Paradis … but I hadn’t considered that they might still be here, until today.”

“Y/N, you’re panicking. Marley might’ve … started all this, but do you think they’d ever resort to sending their warriors to live here in Paradis? They call us _devils_.” 

You blinked in surprise with Ymir’s use of “us.” It was true, that by now, you were more a Paradisian than a Marleyian Eldian. _Hell is empty, and all the devils are there,_ your mother had said. And you were among them now. Hell is empty, and all the devils are here, in Paradis. Does that make you a devil? You know your mother would be clawing your eyes out if she could see you now, surrounded by the very people she was determined to detest. You couldn’t give a flying fuck, at least not anymore. In fact, you almost relished in being the very thing they all feared and hated. You had finally found a sense of freedom, of happiness, with your life in the walls and you wouldn’t let them ruin it ever again.

“You’re right — I might be panicking. But if I’m right, Ymir — I won’t try to join the military police like I originally told you I would. I’m going to join the Scouts, and I’m going to fight.” You had been thinking on this for a while now: would you fight or would you flee? For a while, you had thought of fleeing, hiding deep into the interior. But you thought of Krista’s desire to do the right thing, Sasha’s perseverance, Ymir’s journey, the look in Eren’s eyes — you couldn’t fade into the background.

Ymir was quiet for a while. “Alright. I’ll join you.”

“What!” you said anxiously. “No! It’s dangerous! And it’s only a possibility, if Marley truly sent them undercover.” You didn’t want Ymir tangled up in your maneuvers of vengeance. 

Ymir shrugged. “I might’ve, anyway. For Krista. And now, for you, too.”

“What do you mean, for Krista?”

Ymir flushed, a red shade blossoming on her olive skin. “Krista is the girl I overheard being talked about. I — think she deserves to live a safe life deep into the walls.”

You nodded; the girl seemed goodhearted, and you wanted to support Ymir. 

“So what’s the plan? We aim for Top 10, and then slack off if needed? And then save the world?” You grinned, adding in the last part to seem more up-lifting. 

Ymir nodded. You stuck out your pinky, and waited to Ymir to lock hers with yours. It had been something you always wanted to do as a kid, but without any friends to pinky-promise with, you had never. But when you became friends with Ymir, you found yourself always making those promises, and Ymir indulged you.

Krista walked in moments later, holding four pale green knapsacks. Inside there were two spare sets of the training uniform, some bars of rations, some toiletries, and some wiry belts you assumed would be necessary for attaching the ODM gear the military used. After neatly arranging everything you had into your drawer, you changed into the sleeping clothes you found in the drawers, and went to bed. While falling asleep, you thought of all the people you had met today. You felt a sense of hope: this was movement forwards. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this longer chapter, as promised! Please leave your comments or messages; I love chatting with you all. My tumblr is @jae-ren, and feel free to check out my other AOT reader-insert "To Love and To Hate."


	4. Training Triumphs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h/c = hair color, h/l = hair length, s/c = skin color, see notes at end for more

****

**/Chapter Four\**

_“How’s that, you fucking Eldian bitch?”_

_“Please, please — don’t do this!” you screamed, throat threatening to rip apart with the force of your shouts. Your screams blended in with the sobbing of your parents, who had long ago ceased speaking coherently. The guard standing behind you pulled your hair back roughly with one hand, the other hand pushing you harder to the ground. Your knees pressed roughly against the roughened concrete of the wall._

_Your commanding officer, merely scoffed. “As if any amount of begging is going to help you.” He injected your father, and pushed him off the edge of the wall just before a glowing light blinded you momentarily._

_You looked down in suspended horror. Your father had become a Titan. A creature, with a wide lopsided jaw, matted h/c hair sticking out of his skull messily. The same hair that you had once ruffled playfully, the same jaw and would open wide with laughter when you had been joking around._

_And then, before you could say a word in response, he pushed your mother off, too. You didn’t watch for too long — you couldn’t. But you did see her s/c skin become tainted with splatters of blood as your father — no, the mindless Titan he had become — chomped down on her legs._

_Her screams became indistinguishable amongst the cackles of your commanding officer and his peons._

{~}

You woke with a gasp, heart hammering and shirt drenched in sweat. You had been having the same nightmare ever since you had become human again. And it affected you the same now as it had the first time. It showed up every couple of days like clockwork, and if it didn’t, you experienced a dreamless sleep. You remembered being a child and relishing in dreams, but now, you looked forward to the nothingness more than anything, for a dream was a sure sign of a nightmare. But you hadn’t had this nightmare for a while now — maybe thinking of the hidden shifters lurking in Paradis had activated the memory as an effect of your fears and anxieties around that.

“Are you okay?” Krista asked, voice dull from a night of sleep. “You were thrashing around a lot. Ymir and Sasha left to get you water to drink, though I think Ymir wanted to dump it on you more.”

You snorted, thinking back to your vagabond life with Ymir from before the training corps. For some reason, Ymir couldn’t shake you out of your nightmare. The only way to wake you up, besides you naturally doing so, was to dump water on you. 

“I’m good, Krista, thanks for asking. It’ll happen more often than I can control,” you said. “Sorry if it wakes you.”

“I’m an early-riser anyway,” she mumbled back. You laughed. There was no way she was, with the way she looked right now: blonde hair sticking out in all directions, her blue eyes puffy and rimmed with red. Her eyelids struggled to stay up. 

“S’okay, Krista. You don’t have to lie. If you want to sleep in, I can grab you some breakfast from the dining halls.” You pulled yourself out of bed and began changing out of your nightwear into scout wear. You’d shower later after training. 

“Oh, thank you. I — I’d love to sleep in,” she said sheepishly. She pulled her covers over herself and snuggled in, eyes closed peacefully. 

On your way out, Sasha and Ymir walked in. In Sasha’s hands, a bottle of water. In Ymir’s, a pail of water. You raised an eyebrow at them, more so directed at Ymir playfully to say she’d missed her chance to splash you. 

“Oh, c’mon! I was looking forward to the face you’d make,” Ymir said, clearly dismayed. 

“Sucks for you, ma’am. If you’d been faster, maybe it’d be a different story.” You stuck your tongue out.

“Ah, so this happens often?” asked Sasha, holding out the water bottle.

You grabbed it and took a big gulp. Then, replying: “Yeah, it used to. Hopefully it’ll be a rare occurrence. Anyway, I’m out to grab breakfast, and grab some for Krista while I’m at it. Wanna come with?”

Ymir and Sasha nodded. You and Sasha waited outside while Ymir put the pail of water in a corner of the room, saying it was for insurance for later. 

The three of you walked to the dining hall, discussing what you thought training would involve today.

“I’m thinking it might be hand-to-hand combat,” Ymir said, lifting a hand to her forehead to block the sun from her eyesight.

“Oh, I’d love that,” you said. You were a trained fighter, after all. “But it could also be ODM training day.” You walked inside the dining hall, heading straight to the food station.

“Ugh, if that’s what we have to do, I hope there’s good food afterwards,” Sasha said, her eyes dreamily glazing over as she dreamt up the possibilities. “You know, as a reward.”

You and Ymir laughed at Sasha acting so typically. 

“If it’s anything like what we’ve had so far, “good” might be a reach.” You piled food onto your tray, trying to sneak on extra for Krista, as Sasha began defending the dining hall food. 

{~}

“Alright, maggots!” yelled Shadis. “Get ready to prove your worth to the nation! Today, we’re eliminating the worst of the worst by putting you all in ODM gear. Each testing station here has instructors to help you — I’ll see you all again on testing day.”

Your brows furrowed as you eyed the contraption. No such technology had existed in Marley, despite the scientific and technological advancements that their scientists had developed. It was definitely a result of Marley creating the titans, while Paradis had to fend for itself somehow. Your apprehensions faded away as you thought of the injustice. You burned to tell someone, anyone, of the truth behind the titans, but knew it would fall on deaf ears without any solid evidence. And there was no way you’d put yourself or Ymir at risk by transforming — who knows what would be done to the two of you.

You watched trainees try their hand at balancing. You were impressed by Mikasa Ackerman the most — she floated above ground effortlessly, her short dark hair swaying gently around her face as she dangled inside the training ODM arrangement. Most of the trainees were successful, actually, with one of the instructors even commenting on how competent the 104th training corps were showing themselves to be.

And now, it was your turn. As your name was called up to one of the training stations, your heart beat loudly in your chest. You weren’t naturally gifted the way Mikasa seemed to be: everything you had aptitude in, from endurance to combat was learned through trial and error, by pushing yourself to be the best warrior candidate you could be. So, you stepped into the ODM gear with apprehension, knowing that there was a chance you’d fail. At least the stakes weren’t life or death here; many of the Marleyian officers took joy when Eldian warriors in training failed, so they could dole out punishments far harsher than the failures.

The gear was lifted. You swallowed, summoning courage and praying to any god out there you would succeed. You focused on keeping the muscles in your body taut. Instead of putting weight on the balls of your feet like you would if you were on the ground, you focused your weight on the belts at your waist and on the backs of your legs. You quivered slightly — but you succeeded. The instructor gave you a nod. Just as you were feeling calm, however, you watched a boy at the station across from you — Eren, he had introduced himself earlier — plummet to the ground. And then suddenly, you found yourself falling sideways, too, caught off guard by the way Eren had so speedily fell over. You held yourself back from falling to the floor, however.

“Hmm, it seems you have good balance in general,” the instructor began. “But you need to work on your balance in reaction and in addition to other events. When there are titans, you won’t be stationary, you’ll be acting in response, and doing it quickly.” 

You swallowed shamefully and nodded. “Alright, sir. I’ll practice later.” The instructor brought you down to the ground, and you stepped out of the training gear.

You walked up to Ymir, mood and face downcast.

“What’s up with you?” Ymir asked, her eyes clearly glued to Krista, who was joyfully dangling in the air a distance away from the two of you. You didn’t want to interrupt her thoughts, so you mumbled out some excuse. You’d practice on your own later.

{~}

You barely ate lunch, taking enough bites of bread and spoons of soup to calm the biting within your stomach from hunger, and then passing the rest off to Sasha who looked as if she’d marry you on the spot. You said something about stretching and working out, ashamed to admit your ineptitude, and also glad that all eyes had been focused on Eren’s failure at the time. You ran to the training grounds where the ODM training contraptions had been left up for practicing. 

When you got there, you were dismayed to find out you weren’t going to be alone. Mikasa, Armin, and Eren were there, seemingly speaking motivation to Eren.

“Ah, Y/N!” greeted Armin. You smiled at him as a greeting back. “This is Mikasa and Eren.”

“Yeah, I know,” you said, nodding.

“Ugh, seriously?” Eren groaned. “Is it because I’m a failure with ODM? I know everyone was watching me, but hell, was it embarrassing.”

You brightened. While you had previously been slightly annoyed at Eren for disturbing your balance, you felt much better to know that he was equally as miserable and embarrassed as you. 

“No, that’s not why. I also messed up, believe it or not.”

“Really?” Armin said. “Before Eren fell, I was watching you and you looked pretty good up there. Wait, I mean, not that I was — well, I, er —”

You rescued the poor stammering boy, on whom a flush was working its way up to his cheeks. “Ah, yeah, I was fine at first. But I need to work on my balance in reaction to sudden events. I lost my composure when Eren slammed to the ground.”

Eren rolled his eyes. “Slammed is a strong word to use.”

You smirked. “And you took a _strong_ hit from the ground, so that checks out, Jaeger.” 

“I can help you, then,” Mikasa said, walking up to the next station. You followed suit, leaving Armin and Eren behind. “Eren’s a lost cause at this point. He might have the will to fight the titans, but he needs to be good at it too.” Eren and Armin walked over as she spoke.

You frowned. “The will?”

Mikasa turned to you, stopping with setting up the ODM gear. “Oh, I didn’t see you at the dining hall then. Eren said —” 

Eren interrupted, catching up to the conversation. “I’m going to kill all the titans. Every last one of them.” His green eyes were lit up with a passion you’d never seen in anyone, one parts fury and parts righteousness. 

You blinked. Part of you knew that seemed logical. Afterall, titans were the biggest threat to Paradis. But that was a lofty goal for a teenage boy. However, your conscious bit at the fact that you were killing Eldians. Your people. But as you thought more, you realized that their humanity had been lost the second Marley chose to take it from them, by injecting them with the serum. You swallowed. Better to put them out of their misery.

“I think that’s a fine goal to have, then.” 

Eren’s jaw dropped. Armin’s brows furrowed curiously. Mikasa merely frowned, but you knew that even that was a shocked reaction from the girl. 

“How so?” asked Armin.

“Yeah! I just wasn’t expecting you to support me.” Eren looked at you curiously.

You took in a deep breath, trying to figure out how to best word your thoughts without giving away any information. “I mean, think about it. We don’t know where titans come from, but we know they’re a danger. They keep us trapped in these walls. If we get rid of all of them — then we can finally leave. Finally see the outside world.” Your statement was partially true; you missed the sights of your then-home, even if it had been partial torture, of the wide plains and the endless sea.

“But it’s not logical. And no matter how resolute you are, you need the abilities first,” Mikasa said, matter of fact.

You bristled. You were already embarrassed having to admit you had partially failed, but being faced with the truth of it was worse, especially from Mikasa with her exceptional abilities.

“Hey! Mikasa! We’ll be able to do it, if we try. It’s not about abilities, it’s about potential and practice,” Eren said, coming to your defense. He suddenly turned to face you.

“Y/N, let’s practice together! We can do this! We just have to try. And you’re already further than I am, so at least you have that.” 

You felt a warmth rise in your chest. It was nice, to have someone other than Ymir, pipe up to be on your side. You nodded fiercely — you had a newfound determination. Eren’s spirit was contagious.

“Wait, Y/N,” Mikasa said. She looked slightly distressed. “I didn’t mean for that to sound the way it had. I was just—”

“Speaking logically,” you supplied. “I know.” You gave her a small gentle smile. You knew that she wasn’t trying to discourage you. If anything, it might’ve been more for Eren than for you. 

You stepped into the gear, as Eren stepped into his at the other side. 

“Let’s do this!” you yelled, grinning. Mikasa spoke encouragement by your side, while Armin worked with Eren. You were determined to succeed this time, and felt even better with friends by your side.

{~}

“Where’d you go after lunch yesterday?” Ymir asked, whispering as the instructors from yesterday’s training spoke aloud the instructions for the practical exam.

“Ah, I went to practice a bit.”

Ymir’s nose wrinkled. “Practice? This? But I thought you were fine with it.”

“Well, practice makes perfect. What’d you, Krista, and Sasha do?”

Ymir smiled, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Bullied Sasha into taking Krista and I’s water-drawing chores off us. We saved her life, after all.”

“Ymir’s kidding!” Krista said, piping up. “We’d never do that. Besides, you helped, too, so it’d only be fair if we took your chores off, too.”

You laughed, though you were silenced immediately when one of the instructors glared at you.

“Let’s do our chores later, with Sasha, so she doesn’t have to go alone,” you whispered. As the instructors' speeches neared to a close, you said, “good luck,” and stepped up to the testing station you were called up at.

After being grilled by Mikasa and Armin in turns, you had finally mastered the gear yesterday. You were even confident in it, almost as natural and graceful in it as Mikasa had been when you first admired her. You couldn’t wait to use it for real, grappling and propelling yourself through the sky.

You passed your test easily, with flying colors. You weren’t worried about yourself at all, though. It was Eren. No matter how much he tried, no matter whose tips he took, no matter where he focused his balance — he couldn’t stay upright with his gear. You wished you had more information about the gear, enough to help him somehow. Instead, now you were praying that he would manage to balance somehow. 

“Eren Jaeger!” 

You pushed to the front of the crowd watching Eren as he stepped up to the testing station; it seemed he was infamous by now. 

As Eren stepped into his gear, his eyes glanced over the ground, landing on yours. You smiled brightly at him, mouthing “you can do it” as obviously as you could. He had to do it, somehow. He was the most determined person you’d ever met, and you’d only just met him, too.

Eren strapped into the station. He was lifted off the ground. And when he was fully lifted, you held your breath — he was balancing! You grinned, the smile threatening to rip your mouth in half. 

And then he fell just as quick as he had first gotten his balance. His head hit the ground with a _thump_ , and you knew that had to have hurt. Your heart sunk on his behalf. 

Shadis, who had been watching Eren intensely the entire time, finally spoke. “Put him down.” 

Eren began stammering, begging to be given another try. Shadis continued, and suddenly pointed at you, given that you were in front of the crowd. “L/N. Exchange your belt with Jaeger’s.”

You quickly obeyed, unwrapping the maneuvering equipment from your waist and passing it to Eren. Eren put it on quickly, not even pausing to look at you. You watched with bated breath as he was lifted again.

You heard Eren’s incredulous whisper before your brain realized. “I did it.” _He did it!_

“Faulty gear,” Shadis said. “Your belt was damaged. You’re going to have to get some new gear, Jaeger. Good effort, train hard.” Eren drank in the words of affirmation, and took in everyone’s cheers around him, too. 

Once put down on the ground, Eren walked over to you. He suddenly wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly.

You accepted the hug with shock, unused to any kind of physical contact. The warm feeling in your chest rose again.

“Ay, get your hands off her,” Ymir called out, stepping up to you. Krista, Sasha, Mikasa, and Armin also approached. Eren pulled away from you grinning, unaffected by the threats to his life Ymir was muttering under her breath.

“I did it, Y/N! I actually did it! I said we’d do it, didn’t we!” 

You laughed. “Yes, you did, Eren. We’re all proud of you.”

“Celebration dinner!” Sasha shouted, which prompted the entire group of you to laugh. 

“So Jaeger’s a stubborn blockhead, and Sasha’s hungry. What else is new?” Ymir said, crossing her arms and smirking.

“More like a suicidal blockhead,” said a voice entering your group. It was Jean. “Now that he’s done this, what’s stopping him from his stupid goal?”

You rolled your eyes. It was your turn to defend Eren. “Oh shut up, Kirschtein. Better to have determination than to be lazy and passive like you.” By now, you’d heard of Eren and Jean’s fights, as well as Jean’s inclination towards living an easy life in the interior. You definitely understood him, but in this moment you wanted to support Eren as he’d supported you before.

Jean looked at you, eyes narrowed. “So, what? You’re _another_ blockhead planning on joining the Scouts?”

You hadn’t, not unless necessary as an effect of fighting against Marley. But in the heat of this moment, you spoke without hesitation.

“And so what if I am? I’ll make a difference, I’ll fight instead of fleeing.”

“Oh, hell, Y/N,” Ymir spoke up. “I guess I am, too.” She balanced her chin atop Krista’s head.

“So, will I!” said Krista, and Ymir glared down at her.

Armin followed: “I am, too.” His blue eyes shone with a passion that seemed ignited suddenly.

Then, Mikasa: “So am I.” She spoke with a strength to her voice that you catalogued as being a part of her very character, determined and capable.

Sasha looked around at everyone, and their determined nature. “I am, too!” This made you grin, that even Sasha had chosen to support you in this moment.

Satisfied, you looked at Jean, whose jaw was hanging open in his defeat. 

“Guess we’re all blockheads here,” Eren said, finally speaking up. He was beaming, as a result of the combination of his success in both balancing and this conversation.

“Oh, alright! I get it,” Jean grumbled, admitting defeat. “Let’s go to dinner,” he said hurriedly, quick to get away from this loss. All of you began walking to the dining hall.

You smiled from ear to ear as you all talked about everything and anything. Life was sweet, and you hoped it would be this way for as long as possible.

**AN:**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year! Hope your 2021s have been great so far. I’ve finally decided on the pacing for this story (following closely to canon until it’s time to diverge more and more), and I’ve started to lay the groundwork for the X Reader relationships for this story. As I’m already writing an enemies-to-lovers fic for Eren (  
>  [ link here ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28250937/chapters/69229350)  
>  ), I decided to make this fic a friends-to-lovers for him lol but there will still be angst and slowburn. Eren is definitely the “main route” since I’m in love with him T_T but Jean and Armin will also receive their time in the spotlight, don’t worry. It’s been so fun to make this fic a bit fluffier especially since my other one is so angsty and plot twisty and Season 4 right now is the same way. I’m *this* close to writing a therapy fic for Eren LMFAO
> 
> If you like this, please let me know by commenting. Consider checking out my other works, too, as my writing style changes from fic to fic and they all have different moods and different characterizations for everyone. Feedback is the biggest motivator for writing, and I love hearing what you all have to say. I have other fics I’m working on in the background, too, so look out for them if I ever decide to post them, and feel free to leave requests here or at my tumblr @jae-ren 


	5. A Little Breath

****

**/Chapter Five\**

_Fuck, fuck, fuck._ You stuffed your hands into the pockets of your coat, hoping that some of the steam would be covered by the fabric. _This was bound to happen sometime._ It was your own fault, for trying to sharpen your blades right before training. You’d been reckless with the blade and it sliced across your palm. The slow regeneration process that was beginning, with the characteristic of steam emanating from the wound, was a dead giveaway to anyone who knew anything about titan shifting. Which meant that right now, you were in danger of being spotted by any undercover Marleyian Eldian warriors. 

You swallowed, thinking deeply. You _could_ get out of training. Today was a close-combat session, which you were stellar at already. And Shadis rarely made an appearance for those lately, so the danger of being told off by him was rare. 

“Y/N? Not heading to training?” asked Ymir, coming up behind you. 

“Trying not to,” you said. You motioned your head down towards your waist, and watched as Ymir’s face changed from curiosity to a shocked worry.

“What the hell? How did this happen?” 

You sighed. “Sliced my palm while sharpening my blades. I know, I know, I should’ve taken the risk later.” You were pretty careful to avoid larger injuries, for the fear of putting yourself in danger. But you hadn’t thought this would be an issue.

“Well, I’ll help cover for you. Stomach cramps sound good?”

“I don’t know … do you think that’ll be enough?”

Ymir tapped her chin lightly, in thought. “Should be. The instructors will assume it’s your monthly, and let you off.” 

“Alright. Thanks.” 

“What are you going to do in the meantime?” Ymir asked curiously.

“I don’t know. Probably do some strength training, maybe running? My endurance could use some work, especially if we’re going to start the practice expeditions soon.” 

Ymir grinned. “How about taking off some of my chores? You know, with the free time I’m getting you.”

“Oh, shove off!” you exclaimed, pushing Ymir away. You rolled your eyes.

“I’ll see you later. I’ll be somewhere out in the fields if you’re looking for me. If I'm not running, then I'm resting, probably by the tree you know I'm always at," you said, thinking of your favorite location to get away from things for a few moments.

Ymir nodded, and saluted you with two fingers to her forehead as a goodbye.

You walked to the fields, palm steaming in the cool morning air, and was grateful most people had already walked in the opposite direction towards training. _Safe this time, but I'll have to be more careful in the future._

{~}

You collapsed under the base of the tree, panting. You’d overworked yourself, but running had been a chance for you to clear your head and let your wound heal at the same time. You felt refreshed, but your legs ached like they’d never before, and you were fresh out of water.

As if you’d manifested it into existence, a hand reached a bottle of water out in front of you. You eagerly grabbed it and drank deeply. You looked up to face Marco’s smiling freckled face and an obviously reluctant Jean standing near, behind him. 

“We heard Ymir’s explanation, and thought we should check in on you,” Marco said, as means of explanation before you could ask. “To see if you’re okay.” Marco sat by beside you underneath the tree.

“Sasha and Connie are coming over soon, too,” Jean added, his voice a quiet mumbling getting louder as he approached you and also sat by you. “And clearly you’re okay, if you’re running around.” 

You laughed. “Running helps the, um, pain. But thank you guys for checking in on me. I appreciate it. But shouldn’t you two be at dinner?” 

“That’s what Sasha and Connie are doing. Getting food for all of us and bringing it out here. Shadis wasn’t here today, which means that we don’t have to stick to his strict rules,” Marco explained. 

Your heart warmed. The past couple of days, all of you had become closer, through trainings, chores, and meals. You knew you were all friends in different ways. Mikasa was slightly aloof, though caring. Armin might’ve been physically weak, but you knew without a doubt he was the smartest — and the sweetest one, rivaling Krista even — here. Conversations with Eren were either entirely explosive or invigorating. You spoke with Jean mostly in arguments, and Marco was usually the one who stepped in between to cool the two of you down. And Sasha and Connie never failed to make you laugh with their combined antics. So yes, you were all friends. But for them to care about you to this extent — it was nice. So much more than you could ever put to words. Like a fire had lit inside of you, a warm shelter from whatever worries you might’ve had. Worries you were pushing to the back of your mind as you tried to adjust to training corps life. 

Marco began telling you and Jean some silly story he’d overheard from the other trainees, something about how they were betting on who _wouldn’t_ place in the top ten. Eren was a top contender, even if he was slowly proving himself past his initial failure with the ODM training.

You scoffed. “Aren’t there better things for them to do? Like try to get in the top ten?”

“If you ask me, that’s good and well. Less competition. I know you dorks have it in you to join the Scouts, but Marco and I have our priorities straight,” Jean said, puffing his chest proudly.

“Oh, Jeanie boy, is it wrong to want to defend humanity? To want a chance to live beyond these walls?” Even if your decision to join the Scouts had been a more recent one, you were slowly becoming more and more passionate. It was probably a side effect of hanging out with Eren, Armin and Mikasa. Lately after dinner, the four of you would circle around a fire and talk about their hopes and wishes for the outside world.

Marco spoke up, speaking quietly with an edge of fear in his voice. “Aren’t you … scared? Being a Scout is fighting for freedom — but at the cost of your life.”

You hesitated. Yes, you were frightened of death. A horrifying one, too, if it were at the hands — or rather, mouth — of a Titan. Who wouldn’t be? “It’s the _possibility_ of that cost that scares me, too. But if I’m going to die one day anyway, why not die having fought for the chance to live a better life?”

In the heat of your discussion, you hadn’t noticed the group of your friends approaching you. While you hoped everyone would come, you had assumed it would be solely Sasha and Connie. But it _was_ everyone: Sasha, Connie, Ymir, Krista, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin all ambled towards you, each holding trays of food in their hands. 

“Are you having the same conversation again?” Armin asked knowingly. “About joining the Scouts?”

“You guessed it,” you said. Somehow, all conversations ended up at this point of discussion. Armin passed you, Marco, and Jean cups of fruits. He had one for himself, too. He and the others sat around you near the tree, in one large circle. You all weren’t spread far apart at all, being as close as possible with knees overlapping and shoulders close enough to brush.

“Will you ever quit?” Eren asked, rolling his eyes. It was clearly targeted at Jean, who he glared at pointedly as he reached over to give to you a cup of soup, something creamy with beans and small strips of meat in it. Jean said something about how he could’ve passed it to you instead of Eren needlessly reaching across to you.

“We all tried grabbing extras of different things for you,” Sasha said. It was obvious that she’d grabbed extra rolls of bread, much more than necessary. She passed a roll to Eren, who passed it to Jean, who passed it to you. 

You ate some of the bread with the soup, feeling the salty flavor and sating the hunger you’d developed from running. “No one pointed out that you were grabbing so much extra?”

Sasha shrugged, and began scarfing down her soup. Mikasa answered for her: “I think they knew why. I mean, you, Jean, and Marco were missing, and most people know us all to be friends.”

“Yeah,” Connie said, nodding. “One of the instructors even asked me to check in on you and bring you extra food, Y/N.” 

“ _You_?” asked Ymir, grumbling and nose wrinkling. “Why not me?”

Connie stuck out his tongue. “Clearly because I’m a better friend.”

Ymir rolled her eyes dismissively. “Then clearly they don’t know anything.”

You huffed a laugh through your nose. “Now, now, let’s not be selfish. I’m everyone’s friend.”

“Even mine?” Jean asked, smirking. He had a spot of soup on his chin. 

“Even you, soup face,” you said, smiling. Not a creative insult, but it wasn’t meant to hurt anyway. All of you ate quietly in comfortable silence. After you all finished, Armin suggested assembling the cups and spoons and the like into neat respective stacks, so that it would be easier to take back to the dining hall, and so you all followed suit.

Staring at the stacks of dishware, you wondered about dish duty. So far, your chores had mostly been cleaning and water drawing related, as had your roommates.

“Have any of you had dishwashing chores?” you asked, leaning back on the trunk of the tree. 

“Now that you mention it, no,” Krista said, lost in thought. “I think we’ve mostly been stuck with the same old chores.”

“I think they’re having us get familiar with our respective duties,” Armin said. “So we mess up less.”

Jean chuckled. “How do you mess up washing dishes?” 

Eren had a sour look on his face. “It’s not _impossible._ The soap can be slippery. I’ve done dishes with Bertolt and Reiner, and even they messed up.” 

You laughed, and soon everyone joined in — Mikasa had a small smile on her face, even — thinking of Eren clumsily dropping dishes to the floor. 

“Hmm … do you guys often talk with Bertolt and Reiner?” Ymir asked, a sharp edge to her voice that only you recognized. 

“Eh? Yeah, of course,” Eren said. “Armin and I are rooming with them. They just don’t hang out with us all the time.” 

“Oh,” Ymir said. You furrowed your brows, knowing what Ymir was hinting at it. Now _would_ be a good chance to gather small bits of intel.

“How are the other trainees? I’m curious, since I really only speak with you guys,” you said, trying to keep your voice as light and nonchalant as possible. 

“Well, there’s Hanna and Franz,” Krista said. “They’re pretty cheerful, and I know they’re close.”

“Oh, wait, is Franz the one who looks like a taller version of Connie?” Sasha asked. She had a serious expression on her voice, like she was voicing a genuine question, but the gleam of playfulness in her eyes was a giveaway that she was just trying to rile up Connie. Which she succeeded in.

“Hey! Just because we both have shaved heads doesn’t mean we’re twins,” Connie groaned, glaring at Sasha. “If I look like Franz, then you look like Hanna! Both of you wear your hair tied back, don’t you.”

Ymir snickered. “Connie, is that a confession?”

Connie gaped, clearly flustered. “Is not!” 

You shook your head while smiling, endlessly amused. But you hadn’t gotten any information out of this. Anything about someone who stuck out like a lone wolf. You knew that the ideologies Marleyians were fed meant that if there were on this island — they wouldn’t want to associate with the devils. You and Ymir had lived lives that made sure you didn’t see through that lens, but that didn’t mean that any undercover warriors would be the same way. In fact, they were more likely to be separate from the rest.

“Mikasa,” you began. “Who are you rooming with?” 

Mikasa blinked, surprised to be put on the spot with that particular question. 

Covering for yourself, you said, “Just wanted to know who I’m competing against, you know. For the top ten placements.” You couldn’t care less about some ranking, given that you were practically set on the Scouts Regiment by now, but you knew the past you, and thus that competitive spirit, would end up coming out soon anyway. 

Jean whistled. “Didn’t know that you cared so much about ranking. Give the place to someone who needs it to join the Military Police.”

You smirked. “Give up a place I don’t have yet? _I_ didn’t know that you believed in me so much.” 

Jean rolled his eyes, and shot you a feigned death stare, eliciting another smile from you.

“Right, well, I’m rooming with Hanna, Mina, and Annie,” Mikasa said, bringing you back from the tangent.

“Who’re Mina and Annie?” You _seriously_ needed to get out of your comfort zone and talk to the others, if you wanted to get anything done. You resolved that you’d speak to Mina and Annie tomorrow. 

“Oh! Mina! I know her. She’s also sweet. Bright and determined,” Marco said. Sasha nodded. _Hmm…_ so it seemed like Annie was a higher priority. No one was backing her up. Ymir shot you a look, and you knew she was thinking the same thing. But honestly, a part of you was wondering if it would matter in the end. You could be wrong. There was no need to add unnecessary drama and anxiety to the happiest point of your life yet. You could take it slow. Bask in your youth, savor the calm before any storm. You would need to discuss with Ymir later. _But for now …_

“So how was training?” you asked. You listened attentively as Jean began recounting his plan to pummel Eren, while Eren countered that he’d been the one to do the aforementioned “pummeling.” Sasha and Connie were egging Eren and Jean on; Mikasa looked conflicted and disinterested at the same time; Armin looked tired but in an amused fashion; Marco looked ready to step in, and Ymir and Krista conversed with their eyes, grey and blue conveying messages only they could understand. Soon, the words blurred away from you, and you took it upon yourself to memorize this scene as much as you could. Of the sun setting over the idyllic landscape in front of you, of the trees swaying gently around you, of the curve of Marco’s smile, the sparking in Armin's eyes, the way Mikasa’s hair gleamed despite the fading light, the way Eren's eyes seemed brighter and brighter more passionate he got, the way everyone curved into each other somehow. And most of all, of the pure contentment that encompassed you, like floating in cool water, like a breath of fresh air. The kind of breath you take before diving, the one you fill yourself with to the brim to remind yourself what it is to live. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly wholesome wish fulfillment. A filler chapter, if you will, but still important to me and the story. I’d love to be friends with all of them like this, you know, and I’m sure you would, too. Plus, I was thinking of all of the moments of training friendship we’ve probably missed. It’s nice to linger on these gentler training moments, especially since we know things will go downhill soon enough. A few more chapters of the training arc await (maybe more depending on how I feel in the moment of writing, and also if you guys want to see more moments like this chapter), and then shit will begin to go down. 
> 
> Looking forward to your comments, as always. On the writing side of things, let me know what you think of my characterization, by the way, as I think I’m struggling with avoiding out-of-character things (especially since the characters as I know them now are so traumatized and weighed down by their experiences) and want to know if I’ve succeeded, or if I need to work on it; I appreciate any constructive criticism as much as what you guys liked. Both are supportive to me as a writer <3 (Oh, and I’m writing a new modern AU fic if you want to check it out by clicking my profile!) Till next time lovelies :)


	6. Necessity

****

**/Chapter Six\**

“I think we should investigate Annie,” Ymir said, wrapping her jacket tighter around herself. “Fuckin’ hell is it cold out here,” she hissed. She rubbed her hands over the small fire she’d created a distance away from the girls dormitory, where the two of you had sat yourself at. Most people should be preparing to sleep, or already in bed by now.

You frowned. “I agree. No one vouched for her. But …”

“But?” Ymir raised an eyebrow. “You yourself know firsthand the upbringing Marleyians, even Marley's _Eldians_ have about Paradis and its citizens. What were you raised with? Hell is empty—”

“And all the devils are here,” you finished, sighing. “Believe me, I know. It just seems so … premature. We’re going off of _one_ incident. I just don’t want to waste my time. We’ve only got twelve years left. Almost nearing eleven.”

“I’m not gonna force you,” Ymir said. “And I’m not going to do anything if you don’t want to, either. But I’m asking you to think about it. It’s a possible life or death scenario. Especially for us two. If anyone figures out what we are, we’re screwed.”

“What do we even do if we’re right?” you asked, desperation clawing at the edge of your voice. “There’s no one for us to tell. The whole story would be too much for anyone we know.”

It was Ymir’s turn to frown. She released her tight hold on her jacket, more affected by her lack of knowing who to turn to than the night’s nipping cold. 

“When do we even get our winter apparel?” you asked, offhandedly. You were cold, too, though you’d thought ahead and brought a shawl you’d borrowed from Krista with you. You moved closer to Ymir when she shivered, pulling the shawl over her and you both.

“Thanks,” said Ymir, huddling into you. “Probably when it gets cold in the day, too. Definitely by the time the winter training course rolls around.” 

“Oh, that makes sense,” you said. “But back to the main point — what do we do?” 

“Maybe we’ll meet someone to confide in the Survey Corps. But … that’s only a possibility.” Ymir dropped her face in her hands, groaning. “I don’t know. I don’t know, don’t know, don’t know.” With each repetition, she pounded her face in her hands, desperately.

You wanted to console Ymir, but saw a blond and brunette figure in the distance, coming towards you from the dormitory exit.

“Shit. Ymir, right yourself. Krista and Sasha are coming by,” you said, poking Ymir.

You put a bright smile on your face, and Ymir stopped her pounding as Krista and Sasha joined the two of you around the fire. 

“What’re you two doing?” Sasha asked. “It’s so cold we could freeze a titan into a shell of ice.”

You snorted. “Probably not _that_ cold, Sasha. We’d be frozen, too.”

“Huh,” Sasha said. “You’re right. But still, what’re you doing?” 

You bit your lip, trying to think of an excuse. They’d clearly seen Ymir’s desolate actions, the somber and anxious mood the two of you had before. 

“Ymir lost a necklace I’d given her, and we’re trying to narrow down suspects and decide what to do,” you finally said. A straight lie, but still close enough to the truth.

“Oh, crap!” Sasha said, face turning stormy and angry.

“Who’d do that?” Krista asked, disbelieving. “It couldn’t be Sasha and I, we’re always with you.”

“Wait,” Sasha began. “What about the necklace Ymir’s wearing now?”

Sasha was referring to the matching necklaces you and Ymir were wearing, thin circlets of cold that glimmered at the bases of your throats. 

“Uh, Ymir bought those for us, not me,” you said. “It’s — a different necklace. More sentimental than expensive, so we don’t wear it everyday like these ones. It should’ve been in her drawer.” 

“Do you have anyone you’re suspecting?” Krista asked. 

“Annie,” Ymir said instantaneously. You shot her a withering glare. She was revealing information too close to the truth! And you _still_ weren’t sure about suspecting Annie. Ymir ignored your glare, and charged on.

“When we were talking about the others, we were gathering intel,” Ymir said. “Annie was the only one no one talked about, so she seems the most suspicious on that account.”

“And just that account!” you exclaimed, waving your hands around. “Nothing else to suspect her for!” Sasha looked at you weirdly for a moment, but contorted her face into her thinking face, which consisted of narrowed eyes and lips contorted almost as if she were prepared to kiss someone.

“Hmm,” Krista said, directing your attention to her. Her fair cheeks were red as apples in the cold. “You could try getting closer to her, just to see. Maybe she’s haughty enough to wear it?” 

“Er … it’s a long necklace, so it’d be hidden beneath our uniforms,” you said. 

“Find her in the showers!” Sasha said fiercely, bouncing on her toes.

Ymir and you laughed, and Krista pursed her lips in an effort to hold one back. 

“That’s a little too far, Braus,” Ymir said, fake-wiping a tear from the corner of her eyes. “But appreciate the effort.”

“Well, you could always fight her,” Sasha said. “Get up and close, and the action would result in the necklace revealing from beneath her shirt. If it's supposed to be long.” 

“Brilliant!” you said aloud. Sasha didn’t know it, but she’d helped you so much. You were a trained warrior — you _knew_ the skills the Marleyian military honed, and you had a sharp enough eye to recognize it. It would be like looking for yours or an old comrade’s techniques.

“Um, I think _fighting_ her on a hunch is a little too far, too,” Krista said, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“I’d just spar with her, during close combat training,” you said. “I usually spar with Ymir and you guys, and I don’t really pay attention to the others. I’d recognize her techn — I mean, the necklace.”

“Good luck,” Sasha said. “She’s a killer machine for hand to hand combat. Never saw anyone defeat her. Some came close, but … she hasn’t lost _once._ ” 

“Really,” Ymir said slowly, turning and twisting the syllables over on her tongue. Her eyes had turned feline, sharp and fierce. She turned to you, and you gave a slight almost-imperceptible nod.

You licked your lips, gears in your head turning. If Marley had sent anyone here, it would be the best of the best. And of course, an Eldian, because they’d never send someone else on a risky infiltration mission, plus the requirement of being a titan shifter. Plus, standards for Eldian warriors were much higher, not out of expectation, but requirement. If Annie was an Eldian … you wondered if you could sway her to yours and Ymir’s team. Eldians were indoctrinated since birth. You yourself had once been that way, before witnessing betrayal firsthand. There had been no other path of thinking, if you wanted to survive in a prejudiced, violent world. The internment camps were absolute garbage, as were any Marleyians frequenting them. 

“Alright,” you said, deciding. “I’ll spar with her. And I won’t need luck.” You were determined to uncover some information. Plus, you’d been aching for a good fight, anyway. And this Annie … hopefully she’d give one.

You stared out the window, desolately. It had been raining all of last week, and this week, too — preventing you from carrying out your plans with Annie. In the meantime, training had all been book and lecture based, discussing history, titan facts, and on technology usage and creation. You were bored out of your mind.

Now, you were sitting in a history class. The first few classes had been interesting, to learn more about what Paradis assumed what its history was, post memory mindwipe by the Fritz Founding Titan most likely. But now, as an effect of having to think about your past catching up to you again, you were irritated by all the lies. They were just sheep setting themselves up for slaughter, by not knowing the full truth of how they had come to live on this island.

Thankfully, the class ended in a few more minutes, preventing you from getting further incited.

“Fucking finally,” you muttered, rolling your eyes as you shoved your books and pencils into a backpack that you would toss underneath your floor almost immediately once you got back to your dormitory. 

“Actually,” said the history instructor. “Just wait a minute before you all hurry away. Shadis will be here soon to give you some details about future training, post the rain.”

You frowned, and tapped the tip of your foot on the floor impatiently. You caught Ymir’s amused glance at you from a few seats away, and rolled your eyes to show how annoyed you were. The rest of your friends were looking to the front, though out of the corner of your eye, you could see that Eren was just as bored as you, head just barely saving itself from drooping all the way off the hand he was leaning on. You snickered, and Eren turned to look at you. He glared at you, and stuck out his tongue. You flipped him off covertly, making sure the instructor wouldn’t see; thankfully profanity wasn’t different in Paradis.

“Real mature, the both of you,” drawled Jean, who was watching the interaction. You laughed, and winked at Jean just before Shadis came through the doors.

“Cadets! As you can see,” Shadis said, gesturing to the windows and the bleak atmosphere outside. “There are less than ideal conditions for training. There are so many of you that we can’t have you all train indoors at once.”

You frowned. Couldn’t you just train in small groups, then? You’d pray to end up in Annie’s group, then. 

“In the meantime, you should all practice in small groups. Organize them yourselves, for your own benefit. Once the rain clears up, we’ll resume with hand to hand combat sessions, but not for too long. The most important phase of training is the vertical maneuvering equipment training courses,” Shadis said in a booming voice. “You won’t be fighting people, you’ll be fighting monsters. The titans.”

You frowned and ached to disagree, but obviously couldn’t list your reasons why. The problem _wasn’t_ titans, it was humans _creating_ titans. The humans injecting innocent Eldians with titan serum were the monsters. You hoped that there would still be combat training every now and then. Otherwise, you decided you’d train your friends personally. They needed to be prepared just in case things turned to shit. 

Shadis finished outlining the rest of the first year of training’s curriculum.

“Any questions?” Shadis asked. 

Your hand shot up. Shadis blinked in surprise at your speed, but beckoned you to speak.

“Just one. Will there still be occasional combat sessions in the midst of equipment training?” you asked, careful to be polite, with a level of disinterest that wouldn’t suggest anything. 

Shadis pursed his lips. “Of course. Just sparingly, the focus needs to shift to practical usage of skills.” You nodded, satisfied. Not as much as you’d want your friends to have experience with, but enough, especially if you _did_ train them. 

Other small questions were asked, but before long you were all dismissed for the day. Some students moved onto doing their chores, and others zoomed straight to the dining halls. 

You, on the other hand, stood by the door for your friends, asking them all to wait till everyone filtered out. By the time the last person came out, a surprised Jean and Marco, the rest of the 104th training corps were gone, including instructors.

“What’s up?” Ymir said, now that you were all out there.

“I think we need more combat training,” you said, laying the crux of your statement out from the get-go. “The few days we’ve been going at it just doesn’t feel like enough.”

“Well, it’s been a couple weeks,” Armin said. “And while no one here is as good as you, I think Shadis was right. We’re fighting titans, not each other.”

You swallowed, and caught Ymir’s warning glance at you. “You’re absolutely right, Armin,” you started slowly, gently. You began voicing your logic, knowing that’s what it would take to sway Armin. “But I think it wouldn’t hurt to practice on our own, together. It increases our agility and endurance, and our ability to think creatively. And team building never hurt. We’ll be more in sync.” Armin nodded, convinced.

“Y’know what, I agree,” Jean said. You smiled, even if you were surprised by his show of support. “I agree with her here. It’ll be useful for me as interior police to strengthen these skills.”

Eren scowled at Jean. “Of course you’re only thinking about yourself. _I’m_ in it because I think _we_ all should get stronger. So we can kill all the titans.”

You flinched, thinking of all the people the titans had once been; Eren’s determined statements of killing all the titans always created this gut reaction, a mix of anger at Marley and sadness for all the lost lives. You hoped eventually with time this feeling would fade away.

You forced yourself to think logically again, hiding your emotions. “Alright, then that’s settled. We’ll train together. Mikasa, Krista, Sasha, Connie? What about you? What do you all say?” you asked the rest of the group. Mikasa simply nodded in response, and you knew she was in, which wasn’t surprising, since Eren and Armin were both joining.

Connie threw an arm around your shoulder. “Since it’s you asking, sure. Gives me a chance to beat Sasha, _again._ ”

“Hey!” Sasha exclaimed, flicking Connie’s forehead. He stepped away from you to wince in pain. “Just because you won last time, doesn’t mean you will next time. Anyways, count me in, too.”

“Of course, I’ll be in, too,” Marco said, smiling at you. “Thanks for thinking of us all.” 

You beamed at him. “No problem. What do you guys say to … two hours after each training session? Unless the training session itself is combat training. Then it’s a free day.” 

Jean groaned. “That’s so long. But alright. Thought, let’s take it slow — we don’t need to go at it everyday. Also, Eren’s and Armin’s room that they share with Bertolt and Reiner is huge. They lucked out, so we can use their room. There’s enough space to fit in, like, four extra bunk beds.”

“The room used to be storage, but they needed more room this year,” Eren said, explaining the large size. “We can use it whenever it rains. Plus it’s getting colder.” 

“Well, we should ask Bertolt and Reiner for permission, first,” Armin said. “Y/N, what if they want to join? It’d only be polite to let them join.”

You bit your lip, but then realized it would be a perfect opportunity to get to know them. “Alright, tell them they can join if they want.”

“Okay! I’ll ask them tonight,” Armin replied. “I’m excited to see what you’ll teach, Y/N.”

Your face heat up. “I won’t be the only one leading. Mikasa, you should, too — you’re a great fighter!”

“Yeah, I can lead, too. But Y/N, you’re clearly the most advanced. It’s like you’ve been doing this for years,” Mikasa responded.

You held back a chuckle. _If only they knew_. “You’re just naturally talented, Mikasa. You’ll surpass me in no time.” 

Mikasa smiled at you briefly, and you took the rare sight in gratefully. “Okay! We’ll start tomorrow! But now, let’s head off to dinner.”

“Oh, thank the walls, I was hoping you’d say that,” Sasha said. You laughed, and Ymir popped another one of her usual potato girl jokes. The group fell into a natural rhythm of conversation; Ymir and Krista walked at the front, Mikasa and Sasha just beyond them, and you were just in front of Armin, Marco, and Jean.

Eren pulled up next to you. “You know, you’re a natural leader, Y/N.”

Your mouth opened slightly in surprise. “Huh? I am?”

Eren grinned. “Don’t play bashful. You are. You just convinced all of us to do extra work.”

You felt your face get hot again. “Just — out of necessity.” It always came back to doing what you _needed_ to do. To live, and to hopefully live well and happy.

“Well, for whatever reason it is — I’m glad to have you.” Eren blushed, and then began stammering. “I, uh, o-nly mean that — I know the others feel the same, too.”

You had the urge to hug Eren in the moment as he tended to hug you sometimes, but held back seeing as he was already so flustered.

“Thanks, Eren. I’m glad to have met you, too. Never met a better blockhead that you. Let’s go get some food so you have enough energy to ‘kill those titans,’” you said tauntingly, making air quotes in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

“Oh, shove off,” Eren said, rolling his eyes. You caught the hint of amusement in his voice, and knew he didn’t mean it meanly.

“You’ll miss me soon enough, Jaeger,” you said, running ahead to catch up with Ymir. Right before you reached her, you felt a burst of spontaneity overcome you. You twirled around and blew a kiss at Eren, and lingered just long enough to see his blush deepen — and to also see the glare Jean gave at Eren because of it. 

You shook your head, entertained by their rivalry, and joined Ymir’s, Krista’s, Mikasa’s and Sasha’s conversation, as they had become one large group. Their conversation was something about the merits of potato starches, though you couldn’t tell if Ymir had started the conversation sarcastically, or Sasha seriously. You could hear Eren and Jean yelling further in the back, and Marco, Connie, and Armin speaking closer to you girls. 

_This is what I have to protect,_ you thought to yourself. _My friends. The only family I have left._ You felt a sense of determination, and you knew you had to observe Annie as soon as possible.

Literally the next day you got the opportunity you’d been waiting for — the sun had finally come out, shining brightly and hotly on all of you. 

“Looks like there won’t be a training session today,” Armin said, shading his eyes from the sun. 

You shrugged. “Yeah, but at least we’re definitely doing combat training in class anyway.” 

“Alright, cadets,” said the instructor, taking over after explaining today’s training. Today was going to be a graded day, contributing to ranking calculations. “Pair up.” 

“Well, good luck! Not that you’ll need it,” Armin said, smiling at you gently. A peachy blush fanned over his tan cheeks.

You grinned back at him. “Same to you, Armin. By which I mean, you won’t need luck either.” Armin parted ways with you, and paired up with Mikasa. You winced; anyone would need luck if it came to Mikasa. That girl was something else, and you admired her for it. Maybe during your trainings she could give you a pointer or two.

You searched for Annie using the description Sasha and Krista gave you: a blonde girl with her hair swept into a bun. You found her, alone as expected, and immediately swept towards her.

“Hi,” you said, trying to break the ice. You stuck your hand out, trying to be friendly. “I’m Y/N.”

“Annie Leonhart.” Annie took your hand. Her tone was monotonous and serious. You were surprised. You presumed she’d look at your hand, would speak to you with disgust and only disgust. But then again, that was only if she was a heavily indoctrinated Eldian warrior. 

“I’m trying to spar with everyone at least once,” you explained. Just in case an explanation was required. “You can never anticipate who you’re fighting, right?” 

Annie simply nodded. People were still choosing their partners, and you wondered how to proceed. 

“Annie,” you began. “Why’re you here?” A stupid risk, asking that — but only if one was looking at it from your’s and Ymir’s angle. To regular people — which Annie hopefully was — it was a curious icebreaker.

Annie blinked at you in surprise. She seemed to struggle with her decision on how much to confide to you. “To keep my father safe. So that I can go back to him one day. I promised I would.”

Reasonable. You smiled, trying to provide a sense of warmth from within you, even if it was lacking as you thought of your own deceased parents. “I hope you’ll get the chance.”

Annie’s stoic expression softened: her mask cracked open slightly, in the form of the widening of her eyes, a softness to her lips instead of the hard line it had been set in.

“Well,” you said, noting others had begun fighting. You readied yourself in a fighting stance. “Let’s get going, shall we — oomph!” Annie charged at you, her forearm pushing into your stomach. 

You let her push you back, making sure not to stiffen so she couldn’t topple you to the ground. Your fighting technique had always been something akin to gracefulness: you tended to move quickly and loosely. Brunt strength was usually what most warriors assumed would grant them the win, so you trained yourself to work against that, and you quickly rose to the top of the class using your technique. The others weren’t lying about your skill: you were talented. Perhaps out of necessity and a cutthroat desire to live and live well — but you _were_. If things had gone in another way … you would’ve become a shifter. You would’ve been long dead and swallowed by now, too. The thought of that made you feel a surge of angry energy. You shifted your weight to one leg, and used the other to aim a targeted kick at Annie’s knee, causing her to falter.

Annie looked at you in surprise when you didn’t immediately fight back, and wasn’t expecting you to kick out of nowhere. She craned her neck, and dove at you with a punch.

You swept down low quickly, avoiding her fist, and simultaneously aimed at her stomach. She jumped back at _just_ the right time; one second later and you would’ve landed the hit. 

She panted. “Who taught you? To fight so fast?”

You laughed wryly. “Taught myself. Needed to be able to hold my own. _”_ You dove at Annie, recreating her move, to see how _she_ would’ve responded. She swooped to the side with a nonchalance that was off-putting. _Interesting._ It wasn’t a warrior move, but her instincts were sharp.

“What about you? Who taught you?” you asked. You waited for her to make the next move. This wasn’t about defeating her, even if you wanted to, but holding her up long enough to note all of her moves. Her offenses and her defenses. You sharply noted every move she made, every breath she took, trying to attune your instincts to hers. The gentle girl you’d become the past few days, weeks, months, years — faded away. You were a weapon, a warrior, used to winning and war. Every breath you took was calm, careful, measured. You were, truly, in your element. 

“Almost the same story as yours. My father taught me, also out of necessity,” she said. _Necessity._ That was a word you were too well acquainted with. She sped behind you quickly, and pushed you to the ground with the force of her elbow. 

_Fuck,_ you thought. Thankfully, you were able to land gracefully on your hands in a push-up position. You quickly rolled out of Annie’s way, as fast as a bolt of lightning, and Annie fell to the ground, expecting to have pinned you down.

“Necessity?” you asked, quirking an eyebrow, curious as to what her brand of need was. You clenched and unclenched your fists, and then noted that by now the two of you had gathered an audience of students and instructors alike. You forgot today was a grading day. Despite that, you didn’t play dirty in an effort to win; you let Annie rise.

Annie frowned, curious as to why you didn’t take the opportunity to harm her. “My father needed me to be successful. Good at everything, and that included sparring.” You absorbed the information, just as Annie raised her leg, long and high — you realized she was preparing to take you down to the ground again, not to impair you by kicking your leg or something. You sped away from her, jumping around and away like a frog. 

You whistled. “What a move, Annie! You sure like to kick.” Annie’s mouth quirked up. Again, you tried the action of repeating Annie’s, to see her reaction. Kicking was an important part of the Marley curriculum, and the traditional response taught to that kind of kick was to—

Grab the ankle. Annie held your leg by your ankle, and used the body weight and force you’d put into the action to push you down again. This time, you let yourself fall. Annie swooped in on you, intent on not letting you roll away this time. Annie had you pinned to the ground, her blue eyes fiercely glinting at your eyes. You heard Eren’s voice cheer for you, telling to get up; Ymir was, unsurprisingly, yelling obscenities, quickly quieting when an instructor hushed her. 

You looked into Annie’s eyes, your own eyes wide and knowing. That was — that was …. _No,_ you thought. _It can’t be. She can’t be!_

Annie looked at the fearful look in your eyes with a frown. She lifted the heavy weight she was applying on you, giving you the chance to roll away. You both stood, and you watched as Annie took in your reaction like a war strategist. She turned to someone in the audience watching you; it was … you tried to attach a name to the muscular blond who was glaring at her. _Reiner?_ _Reiner._ You turned back to Annie, who looked like a sore loser, even if she had just nearly beat you. 

Before making your next move, you thought back to your days in Marley. What was a signature move you could use? You’d gone for the kick, the lunge, the punch — _oh!_ You hadn’t tried simply pushing her to the ground, pinning her down by your shoulder and elbows.

And so you launched yourself, fully expecting her to dodge and use your body weight again as the tool to land a final attack on you. It’s what a warrior would’ve done. It’s what Annie should’ve done if she were top of her class.

And it’s exactly what she _didn’t_ do. Annie let out a grunt of pain, and you let out a gasp of surprise as the two of you sank. You had successfully gotten Annie to the ground, and while Annie struggled under your pin, she wasn’t successful. You counted one, two, three seconds.

An instructor who’d been watching announced: “Y/N wins! Good job, cadet.” You heard cheers from your friends: a whoop you recognized as Sasha’s voice, a loud whistle from Connie.

But you didn’t feel satisfied. Only confused, and agitated. So many mixed signals from what was supposed to reveal something. Anything, about Annie. 

Annie cleared her throat underneath you. 

“Oh,” you said. “Sorry.” You moved off her, and stretched out a hand to help her up. She took it.

“Thanks,” she said. “You’re good at this. Enough to beat me, too. And I’m a master.” There was a sarcastic, joking edge to her voice.

You let yourself laugh. “Right. Guess there’s two of us now. Masters, I mean.”

“Alright. I’ll see you around, then.” Annie walked away from you.

“Wait!” you said, reaching a hand out aimlessly. Annie turned to face you.

You swallowed, and made a decision on the spot. “I, uh, and some other trainees are going to hold training sessions for everyone if it rains like it has the past couple of days. I wanted to invite you. You could maybe give some tips? Your kicking technique was pretty good.”

Annie frowned. “Even so, you barely know me.”

 _That’s the point,_ you thought. “Right. But, I _could_ if you showed up. Boys dormitory, Eren, Armin, Reiner, and Bertolt’s room. They’ll all probably be there.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll be there. Just … let me know which days.” Annie walked away after you nodded. Ymir walked up to you, and you knew the rest of your friends would come up to you soon after.

“So, find out anything?” Ymir whispered. 

You watched Annie silently stalk away towards the dining hall. No friends accompanying her, not even Reiner who she’d looked at during the fight.

“Some things, yes,” you said. “But not enough to accuse a girl whose only fault is being alone.” You had decided, at some point, that you weren’t going to pursue Annie. At least not until it became apparent she was a danger. Instead, you would do your best to befriend her, and implicitly condition her. Just in case your hunch was right.

“So _friendship_ is your game plan?” Ymir said dryly. “Seriously?”

You turned to face her, smirking. “Worked with you, didn’t it?”

Ymir cackled. “I guess. But you should be careful. I saw the way you looked at her when she had you pinned. Like she was your worst nightmare.”

You swallowed tightly. “She could be. But I don’t want to worry about it now.”

“What’s your worry for now?” Ymir asked.

You turned Ymir around to face your friends, who were, as you had guessed, coming up with wide smiles and congratulations. 

“Them,” you said, warmth blossoming in your chest. “These so called devils. My friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) extra thicc chapter since it feels like a hot minute since i've updated ... but also check out my other fics too because if i'm not updating All the Devils, i'm updating them haha. (college has started so ... updates will be slow)
> 
> please leave your comments, questions, or concerns <3 they keep me going and writing. adore you all, and see you next update (or on my other fics ;) i will keep plugging myself haha if you like me here, you'll hopefully like me there too)


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